Patience of a saint...

[Seafront Plodder]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?V...4633452260

Take a look at this and read the sellers comments at the bottom. Priceless.

[Sweder]

Two topical gags for you:

Following an incident in a South African gold mine sympathy and relief were offered to one worker
who tragically lost a leg during the rescue.

'Who's going to want a one-legged gold-digger now?' he moaned.

A helpful paramedic has offered him Sir Paul McCartney's number . . .


and ...

What goes 'beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .'?












The Arsenal open-top bus backing into its garage.
Pip pip!

[Seafront Plodder]

ARSENAL F.C.
END OF SEASON DINNER DANCE

Starter
Egg on Face
Seasoned Hash
Frogs legs (past their best)
Spanish Surprise (well beaten)


Main course
Humble Pie
Chump Chops
French (has) Beans
Manager's Beef (not rare)
Catch of the Day - big lemon Sol (gutted)

NB: everything is imported, nothing is home grown.


Dessert
Sour Grapes (may be hard to swallow)
Fruitless Tarts
Raspberry Fools
Hard Cheese


Drinks
Bitter
Little Spirit
French Whine
Cabernet Empty 2006
Champagne - sorry none ordered
STRICTLY NO DOUBLES OR TREBLES

NB: drinks should be consumed from glasses as there will be no cups this year.


Guest speaker:

Sir Alex Ferguson - "What it's like to win the European Cup"


Please note that the club’s European Tour for the season 2006-07 is not guaranteed.

[El Gordo]

Bad luck Arsenal. The better team on the night, I thought, but just couldn't quite hang on. Complaints about the refereeing seem churlish, given the dodginess of the free kick that led to their goal, but I can forgive them those comments made within minutes of the final whistle. In the circumstances, playing with 10 men against Barcelona, a really good performance. If only Thierry Henry had stuck away one of those 2 great chances he had.

BTW, people keep going on about their French element but I can think of only 2 French players in their team last night, and one was subbed...

[Sweder]

Yes, a bit of a shock, that. Not one but two English players - Campbell and Cole. Despite much debate over the decision it appeared that Wengers' gamble on his 'big match players' paid off fairly well - they both performed admirably - Campbell's goal must surely have warmed the cockles of all England supporters. As did the act of Bartez/ James-style madness enacted by the German national 'keeper. And no emotional appearance for Bergkamp - understandable under the circumstances.

For the record I yelled myself hoarse cheering on the Gooners amidst a hostile crowd of Celts (who gained a marginal advantage via Barcelona's victory and who bellowed raucous approval for the introduction of the match-winner, former Celtic idol Henrik Larsson). I commiserated sincerely with my North London friends (including my client here in Glasgow. Her credentials were questioned by a local after she po-go'd around the Buddha bar in celebration of Sol's goal; she revealed a large tattoo of the Highbury Gun on her upper arm, sending the man scurrying for cover).

Happily normal service is resumed; I shall return to Gooner-baiting forthwith.
Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .