February

[twittenkitten]

It has been a quiet week on the running front as I've injured my ankle and walking has been painful. I, reluctantly, decided to give myself a bit of a rest and I am missing running.

However ... to keep my promise to myself (and Sweder) about allowing myself to just write without editing, I've sat and wrote about the two times I've been out since Almeria and pre sore ankle. I just had to save them til after I'd finally written my Almeria race report. Can't have posts out of chronology. It makes sense in my head. 

Anyway, last two runs. One on Thurs 9th Feb, one on Mon 13th. Hoping to try another tomorrow or Wednesday.

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Thurs 9th Feb - The hills are alive ... 

   

Tough going. I had to stop and walk, then run, then walk. I was embarrassed by myself, by how slow I was and how much the hill was owning my sorry arse. Thankful I was alone so I could just listen to my body. As it protested strenuously ;-)

And that was ok. I ran, I walked, I ran, I walked. I huffed and puffed. My pace slowed to 9mins per KM, then even slower. But the views were fab and I was warm despite the cold air. It wasn’t all bad. Just kinda bad.

Down again was easier, though it felt like cheating. 

‘What, you mean I get to run without having to fight for each breath?’ Then with each slight rise, before my eyes could clock it, having the fish out of water feeling once again.

I tacked on a bit more on a flatter loop once I reached the bottom of the hill and it felt like some kind of normality. 

‘Oh yes, I can run, I do run. I’m just really out of shape and I prefer not to witness myself finding it tough’.

Ah. That is the thing that’s changed. I’m no longer so terrified of watching myself, experiencing myself struggling. Still not up for anyone else seeing it, but I guess I can work on that.