World Cup Brazil 2014 / Weltmeisterschaft Brasilien

[Sweder]

Stayed up last night to watch Argentina, specifically Messi and Aguero. Sergio had an off-night and got the hook in part two. Lionel was having one of those frustrating games where the hard-working opposition had his number. And that's precisely when he stepped inside, shimmied and shallied and tucked away a peach of a finish, curled in off the post. A moment of Messi magic to light up the Maracana, straight out of an expensive video game.

It dawned on me this morning, listening to the harbingers of doom writing Rooney off, that Wayne's biggest problem is all the self-created hyperbole. Tonight Narcissus personified takes on Germany. I have no doubt he will be at the centre of whatever storm brews in that match. He will pose, posture, dance, prance and tear the German back-line a new one. Or get sent off, or get someone else sent off. Ronaldo, Messi, Rooney. They're on every poster, leering out of every FIFA- branded Kentucky Fried McX-Box. It's this endless propaganda, coupled with a string of 'ordinary' performances for England, that perpetuates the feeling that Rooney falls short. How can he not? He's a space-age super-hero, battling alien invaders with scissor-kicks and death-defying acrobatics. Yet on my telly on Saturday night he looked sweaty, red-faced, sluggish and pissed off. And when he got a chance, instead of leaving the opponent's goal a smouldering pile of twisted fabric, he scuffed his effort wide.

Live up to the hype or die by the hype. Or stop trousering the GDP of a small European country for a series of ludicrous adverts.