January

[Sweder]

Tuesday 2nd January

Cold wind, dead wind,
Vicious headwind
Devil take this wheel spin
Got to get the mileage in

Meet the new mud, same as the old mud.
An overnight dousing left a layer of slop atop the slurry. Fans of Fred Flintstone will recall his unique ‘twinkle toes’ bowling style which I adopted, slipping cautiously onto the downs. The sun strained towards the clear winter sky, a cloud-shaped duvet preserving the great orb’s modesty as it rose above the Cliff.

Chilled to the core I lumbered stablesward, hounds bounding merrily ahead as I daydreamed of warm beds and hot coffee. Devoid of musical distractions my thoughts turned to the panto season and I started to construct my own seasonal show.

José and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamboat is the story of a worried man seeking divine intervention. One day a heavenly voice appears in his ear-piece calling for The Special One to travel East to seek a saviour. Taking up his coat of many shades of charcoal he travels to the Ukraine whereupon he catches Sheva, a falling star, and puts him in his pocket. Sadly Sheva finds his way into the pockets of many defenders, rendering him impotent and forlorn. José decries Sheva as a wastrel and, with a defiant gesture towards the great god Roman, embraces his prodigal son Didier who has stood resolute throughout.

By the time I ground to a halt, belching steam like some monstrous locomotive, I'd yet to finish the story. Stamford Bridge burning whilst Roman fiddles, perhaps?

Welcome then to 2007, where less remains more.
I start the year weighing in at a flabby 92.5 kilos but with hope in my heart, a muddy grin on my chops, weilding a slightly rusty iron will.

May the road rise to meet you.