World Cup Nonsense

[Sweder]

I must take issue with Simon Barnes (Times 26.06.06).
He brilliantly compared England's performances in Germany with the circus clown car - bumping along on misshapen wheels as bits and pieces fly off to the sound of whistles and bangs. Beckham, he says, is the Beautiful Clown in the silver suit.

Simon, Simon, Simon.
As chief sportswriter for Murdock's flagship you must know rule number one is to check your facts. Whereas the heavily made-up midgets cavorting around the ring raise good-natured laughter and bring smiles to the audience their counterparts on the hallowed turf are greeted with howls of derision, frenzied nail-chewing and embarrassed, almost apologetic flag-waving.

I share Andy’s view.
I desperately want England to win this World Cup, but not at any price.
Sadly the more the country weeps into its warm lager, lamenting the failure of the Golden Generation to raise anything more significant than their over-hyped profiles and bloated salaries, the less likely they are to deliver.

‘In each game we are getting better and better’ drools Mr Burns, wild-eyed, high on God-knows-what as he leers over the retreating shape of Garth Crooks. He reminds me of the fabulous Herbert Lom as Inspector Dreyfus; all he needs is the winking eye.
‘Every day – giggle – I’m getting better and better! Hm, Hm-Hm!’

I want to be positive. I want to shout from the rooftops that it’s all the intricate ploy of a tactical genius, that Sven’s fooled the world with the ultimate rope-a-dope trick.

And then Planet Rock bursts my bubble as Daltry & Co belt out an ominous warning:
‘We Won’t Get Fooled Again!’

Go on England, prove me wrong.